10 Toxic habits that are holding you back

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Have you ever wondered why it is you can’t seem to get where you want to go in life? I know I have. Let’s think about our toxic habits for a second. What you do daily, weekly, yearly, it can all make a huge difference!

You want to try and make sure you are being the least hurtful to yourself as possible. It’s extremely easy to beat ourselves up over every little thing. Make sure to show yourself the compassion and patience you bestow on others.

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Doubting yourself and negative self thinking

Second guessing yourself and negative self thinking are very toxic habits. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. If you are in a situation where you know the answer or what you’re doing is correct, then go with it. Be confident in your abilities. No one will have all the same strengths or weaknesses. We are all good at something and have other areas that may be seriously lacking. That’s okay and perfectly normal.

Some examples of things I am extremely bad at: giving directions (this is also not helped by the fact that I constantly mix up my lefts and rights), you need something on the top shelf? Don’t even look at me for assistance (seriously, just don’t), driving I am also horrible at. Just be thankful I no longer have a license. Lol.

Remember, you don’t have to have the answer to everything. We’re not all like Stephen Hawking (RIP).

Having limiting beliefs

Such as; I can’t be my own boss because I’m lazy, or have no self discipline. Or I can’t be my teams boss because I don’t demand respect or I don’t deserve to be in a caring relationship because I’ve made mistakes in the past.

All of those examples are wrong about you. Perhaps you can be lazy, but that also means you can be motivated and productive. If you think you don’t demand respect consider why that is. Maybe in life you’ve never really been given any. If that’s the case then you have the power to change that.

Some people are just plain mean, they will treat you however you let them. If you are not being given respect then you have to demand it! Do NOT let other people treat you like garbage or less than you are.

Being fearful

A lot of the time people dont ask for what they want because they are afraid. Their afraid of rejection, afraid to hear the word “no”. Maybe also you are fearful of what happens if it actually works out. What are you supposed to do after you have your dream?

Well, I’m glad I asked ;-). After you have obtained your dream or goals, you get to make new ones and keep going.

Don’t let fear hold you back from the life you want and deserve. Sa the proverb says ” nothing ventured, nothing gained“.

People pleasing is one of those toxic habits

I will be the first to admit that I am a massive people pleaser. This is definitely one of my toxic habits I’m working to correct. It’s something I really want to change. You miss out on so much in life if you are constantly worried what others think.

Don’t let others beliefs of you limit your potential. While you’re at it, stop worrying about what other people think. It’s not their life, its yours. So live it how you see fit and in a way that makes you happy.

Approval Seeking

This is another one of those toxic habits I am trying to get over along with people pleasing. You don’t need others permission to live your life. Do what makes you happy.

It is impossible to be liked by everyone. It’s never going to happen so don’t even consider it. Instead of trying to make everyone like you switch it around work on loving yourself.

If you are doing something that brings you joy and doesn’t harm anyone else then go with it. If you have a a really “out there” patterned outfit you love, rock it!

Apologizing for things that are not your fault

Stop doing that! This one goes right along with people pleasing and I know this is a terrible habit of mine. You need to stop apologizing for things that are out of your control or just simply not your fault. While you at it, stop apologizing for doing your job.

Ex: this happened at my last visit to the hospital, I was getting a ct scan done and the technician physically adjusted my head to get better images. That is part of her job yet she apologized to me for it. You do not have to apologize for doing your job.

If you get called in the waiting room before someone who was there before you, again that is not your fault. If you get a promotion over someone else, don’t apologize. You worked hard for that!

Procrastinating

Are you constantly putting things off “till a better time”? If you’re shaking your head yes then you need to listen up! Procrastination is helpful to no one! It can cause needles and unwanted stress, frustration and anger.

One of the huge problems with procrastinating (besides the definition itself) is the longer you put off or “for a later time” the harder they become to get done.

This just tends to cause you more stress and the need to rush.

Neglecting your health

Your health (body, mind and soul) is SO important. No one else is going to take care of you, that is something you yourself have to do. So what does that even mean? It means you have to eat to fuel your body, exercise, and drink lots of water and practice“> self care.

Remember to feed your soul. Spend time in nature, take time to cloud watch, volunteer at a animal shelter or soup kitchen.

Nourish your brain. Learn new skills, be curious, “>read, explore. The opportunities are endless.

Gossiping

If you have ever seen or read “>Anne of Green Gables or “>Road to Avonlea then you are probably familiar with the busy body known as Rachel Lynde. She is well known around the town for knowing everyone’s business. This type of habit is definitely not a flattering one, especially now.

Everyone has the right to privacy and non harmful secrets. My point is “don’t be sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong”. If people want you to know something, they will tell you personally.

“Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

Trying to change other people

This one is a massive one that honestly never ends well for anyone. Some of us (myself included) are/have been drawn to others who “need fixing”. Stop taking on people as “projects”. I get the need to want to help people, believe me.

But, the truth is no one will change unless they personally want to. You can’t “fix” something that doesn’t want to be fixed. You have to accept people as they are.

If someone wants to change they will, but it will be because they personally want to.

So, there you have it. 10 toxic habits you need to quit right now! What are some toxic habits you are working on changing? Let me know down in the comments below, and if you enjoyed this I hope you consider subscribing <3.

Till next time,

Tanya xoxo

42 thoughts on “10 Toxic habits that are holding you back”

  1. Oh man I can relate to all of this. I know I can be the best person I can be, but I have all of these traits. Especially procrastinating. I think it stems from my negative talk, believing I’m not good or I am just plain lazy. But I have moments where I worked extremely hard to achieve my goals.

    Hannah | https://hannahonhorizon.com

    1. I was a massive procrastinator when I was younger. I put everything off, and honestly most of the time it never got done. I seemed to have changed a couple months prior to turning 31.

  2. I can relate to this post so much – the people pleasing thing in particular. I hate conflict and a few years ago I was terrible for just agreeing with people. I use to say yes to everything, afraid to be left out, worried that people would judge me. Thankfully, I’ve realised the important of making decisions that benefit me. It’s my life and I should enjoy it. Great post, thanks for sharing!

    1. Thanks love! I’m so glad you are focusing on making yourself happy now. I was always a massive people pleaser. I always felt so guilty saying no, so I never did. It became really bad when I worked in health care. I was stressed above and beyond, exhausted and mad at myself. It became so bad I had to take a 6 month mental health leave from work.

      It’s only since I entered my 30s that something seemed to click for me

  3. I love that how this post speaks so much of truth! I have been there and done most of it and eventually thinking what am I doing wrong! Glad I could see what was wrong in the first place ✨

    1. I know I’ve been guilty of all of them myself. Ya, I am so glad you caught on! It’s a difficult thing to do

  4. My biggest problem is the procrastination. But I also need to just stop thinking and do the things that I want. I can’t keep sitting around letting life happen and not actually live it.

    1. Those are some very real words. Thank you for your honesty. You definitely don’t want to end up with regrets when all is said and done. Do what makes you happy 🙂

  5. I can relate to so much of this, especially the self-doubt and fear. As crazy as it sounds, I was raised to fear everything and everyone and essentially told to doubt myself all of the time. It’s taken years to get over those things and every now and then they still pop up because they were so ingrained into me by my parents. It definitely help me back for years but now that I have (mostly) gotten past it, my life has gotten better.

    1. It doesn’t sound crazy to me at all Sarah. Thank you for sharing something so personal. I’m glad you are finally starting to move on. Being taught things at such a young age (and then continuously) must have been extremely difficult. It just cements what I already knew about you. That you are strong person willing to make changes. I’m proud of you <3

  6. People pleasing is my BIG downfall. Even though I actively try and stop it happening, it’s almost like it’s hot-wired into me. It’s definitely a process to get out of.

    1. Chloe, I am right there with you. Half the time my brain works to fast and “yes” is already out of my mouth. I’m try to not speak so quickly now but it’s a really hard habit to budge. No one enjoys doing things they in reality don’t want to do.

      We just need to keep encouraging eachother. <3. Thanks for reading love.

  7. I’m trying to break the habit of always looking for the negatives. When i find the negatives i am compelled to share it with others. I’m finally getting better at seeing the positives now. And keeping quiet about the negatives!

    1. I can understand doing that. Previously I would just dwell on all the negatives. I’m not sure what happened but I changed in the last year. Crappy things keep happening (like with everyone) but instead of letting them consume me I kick some dirt over that shit and move on. It doesn’t always work, but I am trying really hard to keep from resorting to old habits.

      Feel free to drop an update any time. We can keep eachother in check 😉

  8. Omg, amazing post. I can definitely relate. I am guilty of doing some of these. Things that I have to work on. Thanks for sharing.

    1. Thank you for your kind words. Yep, I think I’m guilty of doing all of them at some point. Some I’m still working on

  9. Wow. I had never considered apologizing for things that aren’t your fault as a toxic trait. you’re so right though. Why do I apologise for those things? I’m going to work on that.

    Thank you for sharing!

    1. I apologize after I sneeze. I never thought about it until my supervisor looked me straight in the face and told me to stop apologizing. Lol. It’s ridiculous, we don’t have to apologize for things we have no control over.

  10. What a beautiful post! All of these are indeed toxic habits that we should work hard to eliminate. I am definitely somewhat guilty of approval seeking! Yikes! I agree that we shouldn’t have to seek “approval” to live our lives, but it’s hard not caring what other people think! This is something I’m currently working on and this post served as a confirmation that I have to get rid of this toxic habit.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Much love always,
    GABBY | http://www.gabbyabigaill.com

    1. Thanks for reading Gabby! I’m really bad for people pleasing. It’s definitely not a healthy habit to have. <3

    1. You’re definitely not alone. Progress, not perfection. We all have things that could use some work. We’re all human, we grow, make mistakes (sometimes incredibly stupid ones) but we keep going. <3

  11. Ooh! These are soo good! I’m probably the worst with keeping up with my own health and limiting beliefts.

    1. Right now my own health is majorly lacking. I also struggle with limiting beliefs as well. All we can do.is push forward 🙂

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